Relationship Anxiety: What it is and How to Overcome it

A photo of a man holding his head while sitting

People can start to feel anxious about their relationship. But why does this happen?

“She seems a little weird lately, does she no longer love me?”

“Does she think I’m boring?”

“We’re starting to feel like strangers.”

Have you ever had a voice in the back of your mind bothering you with these thoughts? To the point that you begin to doubt your partner’s behaviors, words, and even the romantic gestures they do out of love.

It’s frustrating and puzzling.

Because these ideas accompany you whenever you go out together or do anything together. It turns out that friends aren’t the only third-wheels in your relationship; there’s also that annoying voice in your head.

What is it?

Basically, it’s when you’re worried about your relationship without a good reason.

Relationship anxiety is typical at any stage of the relationship, but it is most prevalent in the early stages. This sort of anxiousness isn’t acknowledged by the medical community. However, it is a frequent issue that many couples face.

It comprises signs and anxiety symptoms associated with anxiety disorders. It’s the voice that tells you to distrust your partner’s actual sentiments, telling you they’ve already lost the spark, or that you’re unworthy of her and how your relationship will definitely end soon.

Why do people in relationships become anxious?

General anxiety is something that everyone experiences.

It’s our bodies’ method of alerting us that something is wrong and that we must either confront or avoid it in order to defend ourselves - the basic fight or flight reaction. It may happen to you while you’re traveling alone down a dark alleyway or while you’re working on a very strict deadline.

When it comes to relationship anxiety, though, what you’re worried about isn’t always evident. In fact, you might even be in a good, healthy relationship but you still get to experience this. It occurs when anxieties or the fears that you may have developed in a previous relationship reemerge and have an impact on your current relationship.

These are some instances of common fears:

Fear of rejection or abandonment
Fear that a partner is going to be unfaithful

How does it manifest in relationships?

Anxiety manifests itself in a variety of ways. Others manifest it through anxious twitches or habits, such as gnawing their nails or tapping their feet, while others manifest it through anger. This is also true when it comes to worrying about your relationship.

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Why do people need to feel secure in their relationship?

You tend to overanalyze

She’s not returning your calls? She might be cheating on you.

She’s forgotten to prepare your favorite meal? She may have lost interest in you.

Every mistake made by your partner will be magnified tenfold. Small occurrences may escalate into major issues for you as you imagine scenarios based on events that never occurred — events that only you think and, in reality, only you know will occur.

You’re so worried that she’ll leave you or that she won’t love you anymore that you actively misunderstand her behavior to fit your anxious story.

You become too needy

You wish you could spend all of your time with her.

Your mind is too preoccupied with creating negative narratives about your relationship, that it’s also trying to persuade yourself how none of them are true by continuously seeking her affirmation. It seeks this reassurance, and this need to feel secure that she won’t abandon you or cheat on you, so you become needy.

This isn’t to argue that being needy is a negative thing; everyone needs reinforcement from time to time. However, when you go overboard and do it out of paranoia, things will go wrong.

You want control

As you’re worried that your partner is cheating on you, you will want to keep track of them – their whereabouts and who they’re with. You will also start dictating where they go, what time they should leave, and even who they call.

A healthy relationship is where you both are there for each other’s toughest times.

How do people overcome this?

Overcoming anxiety isn’t going to be simple. Especially if it has already “grown” into your mind. But by making little mental adjustments and doing things a bit differently, you can overcome relationship anxiety. So hang in there, and consider the following advice:

Be clear about your expectations

Everything, especially when it comes to relationships, can be resolved with communication. Anxiety from romantic relationships comes up when your wants aren’t addressed, and you misinterpret it as your spouse not caring about you.

So, communicate. Tell each other what you want out of the relationship, what you don’t want, and about things that make you feel safe and secure.

Trust us when we say that a simple opening up will go a long way.

Practice being vulnerable

Tell her about your flaws and strengths. Allow your partner to see the messy, vulnerable, and often annoying parts of you, and you’ll see that they truly love you for who you are.

Vulnerability is an important factor of intimacy, but we often want to look as if we’re capable of conquering anything or that we’re flawless, when in fact we aren’t.

That is why we have relationships. To have someone who can help you in overcoming or working through situations you can’t handle on your own - such as the anxiety you’re experiencing right now? It’s possible that it’s one of them. Tell them how you really feel.

Rewire your brain

One of the main reasons for anxiety is because our brain is trained to focus more on negative thoughts and dismiss anything pleasant

Rewiring your brain requires you to make an effort to think about the good aspects of life as well. You may accomplish this by physically writing down positive aspects of your relationship so that you may refer to it when things get unsure.

Someone once stated that anxiety is nothing more than your own personal conspiracy theories. So, allowing these negative thoughts about yourself and your relationship is not a good idea.

The majority of the time, it’s all in your head. Relationship anxiety is a common occurrence, and you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. It’s even a sign that you appreciate your relationship if you’re overthinking and concerned about it.

However, everything should be done in moderation. And when you begin to become more conscious of your actions, you will eventually be able to overcome this.